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Number Two in a List of Things That Are Uncool Enough to Be Cool Again:
Mummies.
Among the classic movie monsters, The Mummy had it tough. While Frankenstein and Dracula had literary canon to fall back on, the Mummy was clearly the result of some two-bit screenwriter, three weeks past his deadline, getting drunk on a bottle of Old Crow and then passing out in the Egyptian wing of the History Museum. Somehow he managed to milk his horrible whiskey nightmares into a not-half-bad bad film treatment, and just like that, a dead guy in toilet paper became monster movie legend.
Seventy years later, zombies are the new pop horror phenomenon and mummies are reduced to supporting roles in Brendan Fraser movies. You understand how awful that is, right? They’re reanimated from a thousand year slumber so that George of the Jungle can shoot them in the crotch and make an unfunny joke about it.
Frankly, mummies deserve a lot more. They’re way more on top of things than zombies. Shoot a zombie once in the head, and he’s useless. Try that on a mummy sometime. How’s that going to stop him? His brain’s all the way over there, in that jar.
Mummy planned ahead.
