Owen Proudly Presents: Blog

tomphilip: ohmygodwaytoolong: susannawolff: blogwell: college...

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 18:15:25 -0500

ohmygodwaytoolong:

susannawolff:

blogwell:

collegehumor:

The Oscars are on Sunday and you probably haven’t seen all of the movies that are nominated for best picture. Well, here’s the gist.

Read it. Digg it.

My new article’s up! Let’s read together.

I’m a Tom Philip fan. You should be too.

cockenblog: blogwell: conormckeon: A dilemma: I rather like...

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:07:00 -0500

cockenblog:

blogwell:

conormckeon:

A dilemma: I rather like the idea of becoming Caldwell’s enemy, but I met him today and turns out he is a fine young man who makes my half-assed jokes pretty and me money.

Decisions, decisions.

(Although to be fair, I’m quite certain Owen had a hand in this as well.)

Perhaps we should cut out the middleman and both become Owen’s enemy?

YES. Owen is an excellent choice of nemesis. It also helps if you’re not a fan of Ben Joseph… it’s kind of a package deal with those two. And I don’t wanna sway your decisions, but if you join team Owenemy I could probably bedazzle us some pretty sick denim jackets. Think about it.

Dear Marina, Caldwell and Conor: I welcome all challengers to the throne. But know this, should you take up rank together: by the time you finish reading this sentence, you’ve already been slain. Your ill-chosen words are dead upon your lips, your bodies are but dust, and your bedazzled jackets now flap across the battlefield like torn standards in the wind.

collegehumor: Internet Sex Moves Read it. Digg it. Love...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:16:30 -0500

collegehumor:

Internet Sex Moves

Read it. Digg it. Love it.

This rules.

Out of interest, do you pronounce 2010 "twenty-ten" or "two thousand and ten"?

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 11:12:08 -0500

I’m not sure I’ve ever said the current year out loud. I’d like to pronounce it twenty-ten, because that sounds like space, but I’m not sure my tongue and I are on the same page here. It’s only a matter of time until someone asks me when the final season of Lost started and I find out where it stands on the issue.

“Two-thousand-ten” is the one I’ve heard other people say the most. People only say the “and” if they’re drawing it out to make a point, so really it’s only a one-syllable difference.

Why not go with “Solar Year Two Zero One Zero CE.” That also sounds like space, and has the added bonus of making people not want to ask you date-related questions ever again.

blogwell: collegehumor: “What Easy Mac instructions look like...

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 23:26:35 -0500

blogwell:

collegehumor:

“What Easy Mac instructions look like under the influence of various drugs,” by Conor McKeon. Digg it here.

And remember: no matter what drug you’re on, your cheese powder:water ratio is going to be off.

These were a lot of fun to design, I hope you will enjoy them.

jennifermorris: “Yeah, not 2010.” Funny t-shirts are funny....

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 12:48:00 -0500

jennifermorris:

“Yeah, not 2010.”

Funny t-shirts are funny. Good job Owen Parsons!

Uh oh, you guys only have one year to buy this shirt and be topical!

After that it becomes retro, which is also cool.

Either way, hurry!

Life: Complete.

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 10:45:00 -0500

Life: Complete.

benjoseph: I Think R. L. Stine Is Phoning It In Owen and I...

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:02:24 -0500

benjoseph:

I Think R. L. Stine Is Phoning It In

Owen and I tackle the age-old question: what happens when a writer loses his passion for the craft? Digg some Goosebumps jokes, y’all!

Oh, look!

thedailywhat: Forsooth, this be plump with...

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:01:43 -0500

thedailywhat:

Forsooth, this be plump with victory.

[reddit.]

The David Caruso meme is getting pretty old by internet standards, but this one made me smile.

(via latfwo) Hey gang! I’m proud to announce the launch of...

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:09:00 -0500

(via latfwo)

Hey gang! I’m proud to announce the launch of my new blog: Look at this Fucking Weird Orange. Stop by and say hello!

This is sort of a passion project of mine: I’d noticed for a long time that, while there were plenty of weird orange pictures available out there on the internet, no one was gathering them all in one place. So I put together this blog as a resource for fans of weird oranges like myself. Hopefully you’ll have as much fun going through the archives as I did compiling them. So tell your friends to submit their weird orange pictures to weirdorange@gmail.com, and I- hang on, my phone’s ringing.

Guys, great news! Look at this Fucking Weird Orange just got a book deal! This is so huge! I want to thank all the people that reblogged and shared LATFWO with one another. This wouldn’t be possible without you. You guys rule!

You can find Look at this Fucking Weird Orange in hardcover at your local bookstore, featuring a forward by Dave Eggers. And while you’re there, keep an eye out for our just-announced sequel book, Look at More Fucking Weird Oranges, and our audiobook, Listen to these Fucking Weird Oranges (coming in 2011!). And as always, visit the blog that started it all at http://latfwo.tumblr.com

And to all you oranges out there- stay weird.

-Owen Parsons

Editor-In-Chief, Look at this Fucking Weird Orange / FuckYeahDefacedGraveSites

Worst Case Scenario: Valentine’s Day is an article I wrote...

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:39:00 -0500

Worst Case Scenario: Valentine’s Day is an article I wrote and drew up last night and is now available on CollegeHumor. I enjoyed making this, so much so that I wrote it instead of getting a good night’s sleep. Now I’m too tired to think up anything snappy to say about it! Here it is! Happy romance event! Blargle!

I wrote this simple little argument today for CollegeHumor. It...

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 01:05:57 -0500

I wrote this simple little argument today for CollegeHumor. It is a humor article meant to provide some solace to my fellow nerds in this, the season of romance, and does not represent the actual views of Owen Parsons or his subsidiaries.

In real life, my girlfriend is busy studying medicine, and has no free time to read my articles on CollegeHumor. Let’s all promise not to tell her about this one.

jeffrubinjeffrubin: CollegeHumor has been around for over a...

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:48:33 -0500

jeffrubinjeffrubin:

CollegeHumor has been around for over a decade (which is like a century in website-years), but we’ve never done anything charitable. That changes today with LOLaid. We are raising money for Haiti relief, and if you chip in we’ll send you some exclusive CollegeHumor originals we are never going to post anywhere else.

Here’s how it works -

- Go to FirstGiving.com/CollegeHumor and make a donation to Doctors Without Borders. This wonderful organization is in Haiti providing still much-needed emergency assistance to those who need it, and your donation could help provide them with much needed supplies.

- After you donate you will get an email with a link to three CollegeHumor videos you are never going to see anywhere else. There’s a Hardly Working, a Jake & Amir, and a commercial parody that has lingered unreleased for years because we thought it was too offensive. That’s right, we are using the lure of something upsetting to encourage donations to a good cause. Like I said, we’ve been on the Internet for a while now.

- That’s it. There is no third step! Just enjoy the videos and encourage your friends to donate. That link again is FirstGiving.com/CollegeHumor. Go! Donate! And if you can’t donate, help us spread the word then find someone who can!

hilarysiegel: (via hatstamp:whiskeyandgoatsmilk) Salvador Dali...

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 09:30:50 -0500

hilarysiegel:

(via hatstamp:whiskeyandgoatsmilk)

Salvador Dali guest stars on the old game show “What’s My Line?”

This is completely and totally awesome and amazing.

Yes it is.

Every day that you do not read Nedroid is another day that you...

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 10:14:56 -0500

Every day that you do not read Nedroid is another day that you miss wonderful comics like these.

Number Three in a List of Things That Are Uncool Enough to Be...

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:00:00 -0500

Number Three in a List of Things That Are Uncool Enough to Be Cool Again:

Fruit.

Fruit seems pretty lame. It’s healthy (strike one), it comes from nature (strike two), and it sustains our smug vegan population (strike three). Americans live in a world where Twix bars are the perfect shape to dunk through the hole in a Dr. Pepper can. There’s no room left in our diets for fruit, unless it is a loop, a roll-up, or measured by the foot.

In olden times, fruit may have been a major dietary staple for ancient cultures, but these cultures hadn’t yet invented BBQ-flavored squeezable yogurt (patent pending). Also, ancient cultures were stupid. You couldn’t go to a doctor in olden times without him drilling a hole through your skull to check for witches. If you stepped out of a time machine and showed them a Twizzler, they’d burn you at the stake and then make that Twizzler their king.

But as humanity evolved, witches became less omnipresent as food became more extreme. We learned that oranges will help your immune system, but Capri Sun will turn you into an extreme skater made out of liquid-metal awesome. Sorry, oranges! Begone with you and your earthen-colored ilk.

So case closed, right? Wrong. Why would you think that? There’s clearly more text here.

Pick up an apple. Go ahead. Toss it around. Pretty good heft, right? Now try a grapefruit. Even better. Now pick up a pineapple. Holy crap, you’re thinking, I could defend my home with one of these. Just like the ancient cultures did. They discovered that fruit is great for throwing at people the moment they first hurled rotten apples at a terrible actor, or slung cantaloupes at the honor guard of King Twizzler the First.

As a chuckable food, fruit has no equal. Potato chips don’t fly straight. You can’t frighten a man with a Ho Ho, unless he’s allergic to gluten or French. But lift a watermelon over your head and scream in primal rage, and your coworkers immediately know you mean business.

Fruit: Nature’s Edible Artillery.

This pear has seen things no pear should see.

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:23:59 -0500

This pear has seen things no pear should see.

streeter: CollegeHumor Offline - February 18th, Gramercy...

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:34:35 -0500

streeter:

CollegeHumor Offline - February 18th, Gramercy Theater. Get your tickets now, only $13.

If you’ve ever wanted to catch one of our live shows but couldn’t rationalize making the trip to NYC for only 60 minutes of comedy, I’ve got some great news for you: CH Offline is a full 90 minutes! Phantom, Jake and Amir, Gale Beggy, Hardly Working Live, CH Originals Live, special guests and standup from Jeff, Dan and I.

It’s gonna be a big show, hope to see you there.

82nd Academy Award Nominations

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 10:01:42 -0500

82nd Academy Award Nominations:

makingofmovies:

Best Animated Feature

Coraline — Henry Selick

Fantastic Mr Fox — Wes Anderson

The Princess and the Frog — John Musker and Ron Clements

The Secret of Kells — Tomm Moore

Up — Pete Docter

Killer field this year for animated films. The only one on here I haven’t heard anything about is The Secret of Kells, but if the stills are to be believed it looks something like a watercolor Genndy Tartakovsky cartoon, which is great news.

Apologies to it and the other great films on this list that had the misfortune to come out the same year that Pixar released a perfect movie.

conormckeon: 5 Science Fair Projects For The Internet you can...

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:03:17 -0500

conormckeon:

5 Science Fair Projects For The Internet

you can digg it here if ya dug it.

Some great advice here for those of you who want to leave your mark on the web.