Owen Proudly Presents: Blog

The only blog of a city-dwelling twenty-something available anywhere on the internet.

Email: obparsons@gmail.com
I work here: CollegeHumor
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Moan Patrol
March 5
tomphilip: ohmygodwaytoolong: susannawolff: blogwell: collegehumor: The Oscars are on Sunday and you probably haven’t seen all of the movies that are nominated for best picture. Well, here’s the gist. Read it. Digg it. My new article’s up! Let’s read together. I’m a Tom Philip fan. You should be too.

tomphilip:

ohmygodwaytoolong:

susannawolff:

blogwell:

collegehumor:

The Oscars are on Sunday and you probably haven’t seen all of the movies that are nominated for best picture. Well, here’s the gist.

Read it. Digg it.

My new article’s up! Let’s read together.

I’m a Tom Philip fan. You should be too.

March 2
cockenblog: blogwell: conormckeon: A dilemma: I rather like the idea of becoming Caldwell’s enemy, but I met him today and turns out he is a fine young man who makes my half-assed jokes pretty and me money. Decisions, decisions. (Although to be fair, I’m quite certain Owen had a hand in this as well.) Perhaps we should cut out the middleman and both become Owen’s enemy? YES. Owen is an excellent choice of nemesis. It also helps if you’re not a fan of Ben Joseph… it’s kind of a package deal with those two. And I don’t wanna sway your decisions, but if you join team Owenemy I could probably bedazzle us some pretty sick denim jackets. Think about it. Dear Marina, Caldwell and Conor: I welcome all challengers to the throne. But know this, should you take up rank together: by the time you finish reading this sentence, you’ve already been slain. Your ill-chosen words are dead upon your lips, your bodies are but dust, and your bedazzled jackets now flap across the battlefield like torn standards in the wind.

cockenblog:

blogwell:

conormckeon:

A dilemma: I rather like the idea of becoming Caldwell’s enemy, but I met him today and turns out he is a fine young man who makes my half-assed jokes pretty and me money.

Decisions, decisions.

(Although to be fair, I’m quite certain Owen had a hand in this as well.)

Perhaps we should cut out the middleman and both become Owen’s enemy?

YES. Owen is an excellent choice of nemesis. It also helps if you’re not a fan of Ben Joseph… it’s kind of a package deal with those two. And I don’t wanna sway your decisions, but if you join team Owenemy I could probably bedazzle us some pretty sick denim jackets. Think about it.

Dear Marina, Caldwell and Conor: I welcome all challengers to the throne. But know this, should you take up rank together: by the time you finish reading this sentence, you’ve already been slain. Your ill-chosen words are dead upon your lips, your bodies are but dust, and your bedazzled jackets now flap across the battlefield like torn standards in the wind.

February 26
collegehumor: Internet Sex Moves Read it. Digg it. Love it. This rules.

collegehumor:

Internet Sex Moves

Read it. Digg it. Love it.

This rules.

February 24

jennifermorris asked: Out of interest, do you pronounce 2010 "twenty-ten" or "two thousand and ten"?

I’m not sure I’ve ever said the current year out loud. I’d like to pronounce it twenty-ten, because that sounds like space, but I’m not sure my tongue and I are on the same page here. It’s only a matter of time until someone asks me when the final season of Lost started and I find out where it stands on the issue.

“Two-thousand-ten” is the one I’ve heard other people say the most. People only say the “and” if they’re drawing it out to make a point, so really it’s only a one-syllable difference.

Why not go with “Solar Year Two Zero One Zero CE.” That also sounds like space, and has the added bonus of making people not want to ask you date-related questions ever again.

February 23
blogwell: collegehumor: “What Easy Mac instructions look like under the influence of various drugs,” by Conor McKeon. Digg it here. And remember: no matter what drug you’re on, your cheese powder:water ratio is going to be off. These were a lot of fun to design, I hope you will enjoy them.

blogwell:

collegehumor:

“What Easy Mac instructions look like under the influence of various drugs,” by Conor McKeon. Digg it here.

And remember: no matter what drug you’re on, your cheese powder:water ratio is going to be off.

These were a lot of fun to design, I hope you will enjoy them.

+
jennifermorris: “Yeah, not 2010.” Funny t-shirts are funny. Good job Owen Parsons! Uh oh, you guys only have one year to buy this shirt and be topical! After that it becomes retro, which is also cool. Either way, hurry!

jennifermorris:

“Yeah, not 2010.”

Funny t-shirts are funny. Good job Owen Parsons!

Uh oh, you guys only have one year to buy this shirt and be topical!

After that it becomes retro, which is also cool.

Either way, hurry!

February 18
Life: Complete.

Life: Complete.

February 17
benjoseph: I Think R. L. Stine Is Phoning It In Owen and I tackle the age-old question: what happens when a writer loses his passion for the craft? Digg some Goosebumps jokes, y’all! Oh, look!

benjoseph:

I Think R. L. Stine Is Phoning It In

Owen and I tackle the age-old question: what happens when a writer loses his passion for the craft? Digg some Goosebumps jokes, y’all!

Oh, look!

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thedailywhat: Forsooth, this be plump with victory. [reddit.] The David Caruso meme is getting pretty old by internet standards, but this one made me smile.

thedailywhat:

Forsooth, this be plump with victory.

[reddit.]

The David Caruso meme is getting pretty old by internet standards, but this one made me smile.

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(via latfwo) Hey gang! I’m proud to announce the launch of my new blog: Look at this Fucking Weird Orange. Stop by and say hello! This is sort of a passion project of mine: I’d noticed for a long time that, while there were plenty of weird orange pictures available out there on the internet, no one was gathering them all in one place. So I put together this blog as a resource for fans of weird oranges like myself. Hopefully you’ll have as much fun going through the archives as I did compiling them. So tell your friends to submit their weird orange pictures to weirdorange@gmail.com, and I- hang on, my phone’s ringing. Guys, great news! Look at this Fucking Weird Orange just got a book deal! This is so huge! I want to thank all the people that reblogged and shared LATFWO with one another. This wouldn’t be possible without you. You guys rule! You can find Look at this Fucking Weird Orange in hardcover at your local bookstore, featuring a forward by Dave Eggers. And while you’re there, keep an eye out for our just-announced sequel book, Look at More Fucking Weird Oranges, and our audiobook, Listen to these Fucking Weird Oranges (coming in 2011!). And as always, visit the blog that started it all at http://latfwo.tumblr.com And to all you oranges out there- stay weird. -Owen Parsons Editor-In-Chief, Look at this Fucking Weird Orange / FuckYeahDefacedGraveSites

(via latfwo)

Hey gang! I’m proud to announce the launch of my new blog: Look at this Fucking Weird Orange. Stop by and say hello!

This is sort of a passion project of mine: I’d noticed for a long time that, while there were plenty of weird orange pictures available out there on the internet, no one was gathering them all in one place. So I put together this blog as a resource for fans of weird oranges like myself. Hopefully you’ll have as much fun going through the archives as I did compiling them. So tell your friends to submit their weird orange pictures to weirdorange@gmail.com, and I- hang on, my phone’s ringing.

Guys, great news! Look at this Fucking Weird Orange just got a book deal! This is so huge! I want to thank all the people that reblogged and shared LATFWO with one another. This wouldn’t be possible without you. You guys rule!

You can find Look at this Fucking Weird Orange in hardcover at your local bookstore, featuring a forward by Dave Eggers. And while you’re there, keep an eye out for our just-announced sequel book, Look at More Fucking Weird Oranges, and our audiobook, Listen to these Fucking Weird Oranges (coming in 2011!). And as always, visit the blog that started it all at http://latfwo.tumblr.com

And to all you oranges out there- stay weird.

-Owen Parsons

Editor-In-Chief, Look at this Fucking Weird Orange / FuckYeahDefacedGraveSites